Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
