I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
