i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
