Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
