So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
