I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
