Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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