youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
My pussy is not your playground.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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