i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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