So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
