She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
