I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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