Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
