i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Randomize
