Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
