WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
