you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
