every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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