Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
