Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Randomize
