Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
