Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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