Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
