Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
