is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize