My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Randomize
