the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
