You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
