so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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