You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
