It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
