Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Barsexuality is the new black.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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