What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
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