I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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