You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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