I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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