Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
