Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
