420 ftw
operation harelip BJ is a go
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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