Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
