Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
