I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
