I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
