we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
