That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Randomize
