Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
