Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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