i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
