Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
