just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
