Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
