you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
