so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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