I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
